First, there was Stoops alluding to the notion that Saban had people spying on OU's practices before the Sugar Bowl. Then there was that pesky "bought audio tapes" situation at Miami before upsetting highly favored New England 21-0. Next, Bill Belichick, who helped groom Saban, was busted videotaping opponents' sidelines in order to learn their signals. After that, Mark Richt, who has one former Saban staffer underneath him, closed UGA practices for the first time in seven years the week they were to play Bama. Finally, FSU, who has two former Saban staffers employed, used a wall of players and a blanket held by freshman Jacob Stanley to hide their signal caller from the Bama coaches.
I wonder how the conversation between Coach Bowden and Stanley went...
Bowden: Simmons, git over here!
Stanley: Yes, sir. But it’s Stanley.
Bowden: Okay, Simmons. That sombitch Curry stole my job at Bama, now he’s stealin’ my signals!
Stanley: Uhhh, Coach. It’s Sab-
Bowden: Look, Simmons. You’re from Jacksonville, right?
Stanley: Yes, sir. But my name is Stan-
Bowden: I want to use you in front of your home crowd, Simmons.
Stanley: That’s great, Coach! You won’t regret it. But my name is Stanley.
Bowden: I don’t want that sombitch Curry seeing our play callin’ signals, so your gonna hold this blanket up so he can’t. Understand, Simmons?.
Stanley: That’s…yes, sir. I’m Stan-
Bowden: Good. We’re gonna show that Curry what for.
Stanley: Yes, sir. But it’s Saban…not Cur-
Bowden: Your name’s Saban? Hell, son. Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been callin’ you Simmons this whole time!
Not to have someone outdo him in accusations that Bama cheats, Fulmer is already busy having a blanket constructed to hide him when UT plays the Tide.
No need to worry, Tide fans. Saban is always one step ahead. He has constructed a bulletproof plan to infiltrate enemy lines undercover.
*The links in this entry have been corrected.
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