Week 2 results

Well, I went 6-3 for week two. I should have gone with my initial feelings about UGA and USC. I'll organize this by my rankings.

East

UF - Easy win for them over Troy. I don't understand why Meyer isn't working in a backup for Tebow more during these patsy games. Tebow's the man, but no one is immune to injuries.

USC - "South Carolina is going to surprise some people this year." That was my preseason assessment of SC. Never underestimate Spurrier. Richt has always been inconsistent.

UT - I was too busy watching the Auburn train wreck to even notice this game. It looks like UT started out fairly slow. Ainge put up some good numbers.

UGA - After looking like the most prepared team in the SEC, they looked flat against USC. They have Western Carolina this week, who got blasted by a team that lost to UK 40 points. Maybe they'll use this time to work out the kinks.

UK - Another creampuff week. They went into halftime tied. Was it halftime adjustments or a lack of substitutes for Kent State that turned this into a blowout. Who cares? It's Kentucky.

Vandy - A questionable call resulted in momentum for Bama early in this game. Vandy would have lost anyway. Nickson looked pretty bad. Adams fared a little better. The defense was able to pressure JPW a good bit.

West

LSU - I knew Tech was nothing but an overrated media doll. Just because the school went through a major tragedy doesn't mean that the football team will be any good. LSU's offense is coming together. Their defense isn't just the best in the SEC, but the best in the nation.

Arkansas - McFadden and Jones had a combined 400 yards against the bye. They should have a field day against Bama's weak front this week.

Alabama - Their defense gives up some big plays, but they're usually called back. JPW doesn't perform well under pressure, but has a good supporting cast. Their first real challenge will be this weekend.

Ole Miss - No one will ever call me a homer after this...well, maybe. Ole Miss has no defense, but they have shown some brilliance on offense. It doesn't take much of a defense to stop the next team on the list.

Auburn - The team did come out and played with some intensity this game...just on one side of the ball. The defense is spot-on (aside from the blown coverage in overtime). On offense, Auburn is 5-28 on third down conversions, has allowed 6 sacks, and has turned the ball over 7 times in two games against mid-tier teams!

Mississippi State - Henig would have some great numbers if MSU played in Conference USA. Unfortunately for him, the SEC is known for their defense.

SEC Picks - Week 2

It always happens when I start something to entertain myself...life gets busy. So yeah, this blog has been pretty thin in content. Oh well, here are my picks for this week.

SEC East

Florida vs. Troy - Arkansas was able to run all over Troy's defense last week. Florida should be able to put up some big numbers on the ground and in the air this week. Like against Arkansas, Troy will be able to put a few on the board, but it still won't be close.
Tebow 42 - Condoms 21

UGA vs. USC - I thought USC was going to be hot this year, and UGA was going to be rebuilding. If last week was any indication of how these teams will do this year, I was completely wrong. If UGA is as prepared as they were last week, this one will be ugly.
Dawgs 28 - Cocks 10

UT vs. Southern Miss - Southern Miss has a back that could play anywhere in the SEC. Unfortunately for him, I can't say the same about the OL. Fulmer will have his boys ready to play after losing to Cal. The kinks in the offense should be ironed out this week.
Viles 34 - Eagles 14

Kentucky vs. Kent State - Kentucky's offense is going to have another great day. What's the over/under on them getting 500 yards?
Shats 48 - Flamers 12

Vandy vs. Bama - No one pisses in Bama's cornflakes quite like the Commies do...by losing. Bama usually has a hard time blowing them out. They squeaked by last year, and this year? The Commies brought most of their starters back, and the game is in Nashville. However, this one won't be the super close game that a lot of people seem to be predicting. It'll be an ugly win, though.
Tampons 21 - Commies 7

SEC West

LSU vs. Virginia Tech - Virginia Tech played East Carolina, minus their QB, last weekend. The line was 27.5. They won by 10 only putting 17 on the board. Running game? Nonexistent. This game will be played in the dreaded "Death Valley".
Corndogs 28 - Pokies 10

Auburn vs. South Florida - South Florida comes into Auburn a week after struggling with 1-AA Elon. Auburn played horribly last week. If history repeats itself tomorrow, Auburn will come out explosively. Tuberville seems to always redeem himself after a poor performance.
Tigers 24 - Cows 10

Arkansas - off

Ole Miss vs. Missouri - This one doesn't really excite me at all. Missouri should win this one even without a running game.
Tigers 24 - Hotty-Toddlers 14

Mississippi State at Tulane - What is it about these Mississippi teams that bore the hell out of me? Tulane is in a conference where MSU could be competitive. Maybe that's why they play two out of their three out of conference games against Conference USA teams. Out of sheer boredom, Tulane wins.
Wave 28 - Croomdogs 27

Grading Auburn - Sort Of

I apologize to my two or three readers for the delay, but the wife, dogs, and house come first!

QB – C+
Cox is slower than frozen molasses on Christmas Eve. His interceptions weren’t really bad passes, but good execution on the defense’s part. Several of his incompletions were dropped balls. He gets the + for not completely losing his head.

RB – I
This could have been an A, but do to "unresolved academic issues", Lester had to sit out. The rumor fairies have been working overtime on this situation, but no one really knows what’s going on. KSU was stacked the box against a young offensive line, and Tate still managed to pick up 82 yards. Stewart is 6’2, but looks like he’s 6’5 when he runs down the field. He’s been at Auburn for what seems to be ten years. He should know by now that he needs to get low to bust through tackles.

WR – B
There were too many dropped balls. And I’m not talking about dropped balls after acrobatic leaps. There is no excuse for dropping a perfectly thrown ball. The tight ends looked great, and are the only reason this is a B and not a C.

OL – C
KSU brought the house. Ziemba had a few mental mistakes. Dunlap apparently had the worst game. I put 3 of the 5 sacks on Cox.

Offense – C+
I would like to think that the vanilla offense was by design. You know, a “don’t tip you hand before SEC play” kind of deal. That’s merely wishful thinking, but when they REALLY needed points, the playbook expanded a little. Overall, they just looked lackadaisical.

LB – B
Blackmon and Evans both had interceptions. Other than that, I didn’t even realize there were LBs on the field. KSU only had 16 rushing attempts, though.

DL – A
Quinton Groves is an animal. Sims, Coleman and Marks did there parts as well by putting pressure on the quarterback.

DB – B
Overall, they looked good. There were several dropped interceptions, but most DBs aren’t known for their hands.

Defense – B+
Other than the first drive, I don’t see any major complaints about their performance. They did what they needed to.

Special teams – B
The kicking game looked good. Dunn seemed to have borrowed his gloves from Tre Smith. Catch the ball before you start moving!

Week 1 Results

I went 9-2 in my predictions. I would brag, but most of the games were no contests.

Florida vs. Western Kentucky – “Tebow won't be tested and I'm sure he won't play a down in the second half.”
UF 49-3: I was pretty close on this one. Had the thunderstorm not rolled in, It could have ended 56 – 3. Tebow proved that he is the real deal…against a crappy team. He won’t really be tested until their third game against UT.

South Carolina vs. Louisiana Laffayette – “I have a hunch that Smelley will do fine.”
USC 28-14: By the numbers, it looks like he did alright. However, Beecher did better. USC allowed over 300 yards on the ground…not good.

Tennessee at California – “Wearing panties is more accepted in LA, so Ainge will feel more relaxed.”
Cal 35-14: I never thought Cal could drag UT into a PAC-10 shootout. Ainge did seem to be more relaxed than in the past connecting 32 out of 47 passes.

Kentucky vs. E. Kentucky - Shats 34 - Sanders' Brigade 0
UK 50-10: Woodson had some good numbers, but it was against a high school team.

Georgia vs. Oklahoma State – “UGA will fall this weekend.”
UGA 35-14: This is my biggest blunder of the weekend. UGA looked like one of the best prepared teams in the SEC this weekend. However, Georgia fans need to worry about their run defense. Take away the sacks, and OSU’s YPR goes up a good bit.

Vanderbilt vs. Richmond – “…a very rare occurrence will take place Saturday...Vandy will be undefeated!”
Vandy 41-17: It won’t last long. Richmond put up 306 yards on offense, and they’re no Bama.

LSU at MSU – “This is almost as bad as scheduling a 1-AA patsy for the first game.”
LSU 45-0: Appalachian State would have scored at least 50 on MSU. LSU looked sloppy. Their offensive line needs to start gelling or they could be in trouble.

Auburn vs. Kansas State – “The fact that this is a night game, which is very key, at Jordan-Hare will be the difference.”
AU 23-13: Crowd noise really got to KSU’s young offensive line. Auburn looked like a solid 7-5 team. I’ll go into this game in more detail later.

Arkansas vs. Troy – “…the Jones / McFadden combo is too much…”
Arkansas 46-26: McFadden had 6.3 yards per carry, and threw a TD pass. Jones had 10.8 yards a carry, and ran a kickoff return back for a TD. Them’s good players!

Alabama vs. Western Carolina – “Saban beats an extremely underrated 1-AA team and solidifies himself as the second coming of the Bear.”
UA 52-6: Yep, Saban is bulletproof after this win. Just for giggles, Shula’s team beat Western Carolina 52-0. Bama was cruising in the third quarter with a decent lead, and JPW was still in the game. Shula was billed an idiot after doing that with Croyle.

Ole Miss at Memphis - Hotty-Toddlers 14 - Basketball 13
OM 23-21: Ole Miss was up 20-0 at half. What happened? I don’t know, but Memphis made it a game while piling on some yardage.

SEC vs. 1-AA - Does it get any better?

There's nothing like some jackass telling you who's going to do what before it happens, and I'm no jackass. I don't claim to have super powers. I mean, I have them, but claiming them would make me look pompous. With that said, sit down and let this pompous jackass tell you what's going to happen this week.

SEC East

Florida vs. Western Kentucky - Well, at least Western Kentucky is 1A now. Last season, they were 6-4 in 1-AA play. They also had a loss to Georgia (48-12), which brings up the question, "How in the hell does a team like Georgia allow a 1-AA team to get a safety!?!" Back on topic, Tebow won't be tested and I'm sure he won't play a down in the second half.
Gators 56 - Giant Red Blobs 7

South Carolina vs. Louisiana Laffayette - South Carolina plays host to Sun Belt juggernaut, Louisiana Laffayette. Bold move, Spurrier, bold move. Will Smelley, whose name will be said with delight by everyone, be able to handle one of the worst defenses in 1-A? After all, Mitchell is suspended. I have a hunch that Smelley will do fine.
Cocks 38 - Ragin' Drunks 13

Tennessee at California - Wow, an actual opponent! I don't think there are too many Krispy Kremes in Los Angeles, so Fulmer won't be in full form. But the Vols downfall could very well be Eric Ainge's jammed pinky finger. Wait...what!?! Are you fucking kidding me!? A jammed pinky finger!? It's time for stick man to put on his big-girl panties and play some ball. Wearing panties is more accepted in LA, so Ainge will feel more relaxed.
Orange Panties 21 - Over-rateds 17

Kentucky vs. Eastern Kentucky - Eastern Kentucky? You know they're jealous as hell now that Western Kentucky has made it to the big time. Who would have thought that there were that many schools in that state with football teams? I don't know anything about Eastern Kentucky other than their mascot (Colonels), and I don't care to.
Shats 34 - Sanders' Brigade 0

Georgia vs. Oklahoma State - If only Richt could harness the awesomeness that is Joe Kines, for he knows how to beat Oklahoma State.

No one, including Bama players, can understand the incoherent ramblings of a mad genius such as Kines. That's why Bama lost that game (along with 100 other excuses their fans could come up with). And it's for this reason that UGA will fall this weekend.
Chap-wearers 28 - Dawgs 24

Vanderbilt vs. Richmond - Okay, so we have another 1-AA patsy. Richmond did beat Duke last season 13-0, but so did everyone else who played them. Never the less, a very rare occurrence will take place Saturday...Vandy will be undefeated! They've only won four openers since 1990, and three of those were against Wake Forest. Johnson needs to get on the horn about next years schedule, stat!
Funny Hats 28 - Arachnids 0

SEC West

LSU at MSU - There is no stadium more dreaded in the SEC than MSU's Davis Wade Stadium...by the fans. This place is about as intimidating as Mike Shula in a tutu. This is almost as bad as scheduling a 1-AA patsy for the first game.
Corndogs 42 - Croomdogs 3

Auburn vs. Kansas State - Tuberville typically lays an egg in these situations, but last years win over a mediocre Washington State gives Auburn fans some hope. Even still, KSU has a reputation for upsetting the favored team. Ask any Oklahoma or Texas fan, and they'll tell you. The fact that this is a night game, which is very key, at Jordan-Hare will be the difference.
Tigers 21 - Grapes 9

Arkansas vs. Troy - Could this be another upset opener by Troy? They have a great QB in Haugabook. Nutt's a damn moron, too. However, the Jones / McFadden combo is too much for most SEC teams, let alone a Sun Belt powerhouse like Troy.
Bacon 35 - Condoms 28

Alabama vs. Western Carolina - A patsy non-conference game in Tuscaloosa? The Bear would be proud! I wager that over a million Bama fans will order this slug-fest on PPV. Sara Jessica Parker Wilson better watch out. Western Carolina likes to play tricks by placing invisible tripwires on the field. I'm sure Brodie has warned him about it. Saban beats an extremely underrated 1-AA team and solidifies himself as the second coming of the Bear. In turn, five players get arrested on the strip while celebrating the big win.
Tampons 48 - Catamounts (seriously!) 0

Ole Miss at Memphis - Ole Miss squeezed by this perennial powerhouse last year 28-25 on national TV, which made Orgeron one of the most feared coaches in the land. But this year, the game is in Memphis' house. You don't come into their house and beat them, unless you're Arkansas State, Tulsa, Southern Miss, UFC, Houston, Marshall, UAB, oh...and Ole Miss the year before by a landslide 4 points. Only a top-tier program like UAB can do the unthinkable by beating Memphis three years in a row. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Ole Miss will join them this Saturday.
Hotty-Toddlers 14 - Basketball School 13

Picking My Nose

God gave me my face, but he let me pick my nose. You know what else I like picking? How the SEC teams will do in conference before a single down has been played.

SEC East

1. Florida - Tebow better be the real deal because Florida is going to have to replace the majority of their defense this year. No worries, Tebow will have a nice target in Senior receiver, Caldwell. Look for Harvin to put up some big numbers on the ground as well.

2. South Carolina - South Carolina is going to surprise some people this year. They were in every ballgame last season except for one and are returning 10 returning starters on defense. Everyone is talking about Tebow and Woodson, but Mitchell is no chopped liver. When he's on his game, he's a definite threat. And NEVER underestimate the Ole Ball Coach.

3. Tennessee - Ainge is going to have a hard time finding a receiver with a lot of game experience, so Coker needs to step it up. That's going to be tough with a subpar offensive line. Will Cutcliffe be the difference UT's offense needs?

4. Kentucky - Woodson is good, but not good enough to compensate for lack of talent on Kentucky's defense. They are returning several starters on that side of the ball, but keep in mind that Kentucky's defense was one of the worst in the country last year.

5. Georgia - Georgia's defense was ranked 8th in the nation last year. Too bad they're only returning three starters. On top of that, Paul Oliver will be ineligible to play. This will be a rebuilding season for UGA.

6. Vanderbilt - It would be nice if Vanderbilt proved me wrong on this one. After all, they do have most of their defense returning. Everyone wants them to succeed.

SEC West

1. LSU - LSU will have the top defense in the SEC. This will be enough to compensate for problems that could emerge on offense. Flynn has been a career backup. Will he bring enough to the table for LSU? A favorable home schedule should have them winning the West easily.

2. Auburn - If Lester, and Cox can stay healthy, Auburn will have a good season despite their grueling away schedule. This might prove difficult considering the lack of experience on the offensive line. Auburn's defense will be the second best in the SEC.

3. Arkansas - The stable is full, but there is no real quarterback to act as a decoy. Couple this with a relatively inexperienced line, and you can expect every team to stack the box against them this year. McFadden might have put the nail in the coffin by appearing on the SI cover.

4. Alabama - If the current trend continues, half of the Bama squad will have seen the inside of the Tuscaloosa jail by the end of the season. Saban will be the factor in winning close games, but Bama's weak offensive line and running game will keep Wilson scrambling all season long.

5. Ole Miss - Ole Miss will have one of the stronger offensive lines in the SEC West. However, they will have to replace all of their linebackers. Orgeron just doesn't seem to get it done. This year won't be any different.

6. Mississippi State - Even with 10 returning starters on offense, they will still end in last place in the West. MSU should be able to beat Gardner-Webb, whoever the hell that is.

The Doctor Ordered It

This is just what the internet needs, another sports blog. I give it two or three weeks before I lose interest, and move onto something else.